How to survive ‘The Scillonian’

 

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It’s Autumn on The Isles of Scilly and although these beautiful islands usually enjoy a prolonged Indian Summer (thank you Gulf stream) today is no different to the UK mainland.  The wind is howling, the rain is horizontal and the sky is more black than gray. I peer out of my bedroom window towards the Tean and the usually calm waters are now  alive with dancing white horses. Not Good…

‘Ping’ The sound of an email being delivered.

Dear Customer,

We would like to advise you that due to the weather conditions your travel today on the Scillonian may be uncomfortable…..

Great.

The first time I traveled on The Scillonian the 2 hours 45 minutes was just plain sailing.

The second time was a very different story.

Adults being sick. Children being sick and then the dogs joined in for good measure.

The trouble with the Scillonian is that this lady of the sea is flat bottomed, and flat bottoms don’t do well in choppy seas.

So you have two choices at this point.

  1. Prolong your holiday and phone your boss to pull a ‘sickie’. Lets face it the thought of the journey is making your stomach churn. So it’s not really lying… is it?
  2. Follow my Scillonian survival guide below and challenge yourself to become the ultimate sea-dog and survive ‘The Scillonian’.

The choice is yours…..

The ‘Scillonian’ Survival Guide

1.Check out the bottom

Get in line early and when you board head down 3 flights of steps to the ship’s hull. This is the most stable part of the ship and going to get less of the rolling motion compared to upper decks. There’s no windows but there are comfy blue mattresses around the perimeter of the hull. Stretch out and get some ZZZZZZ’s  all the way to Penzance. They are also ‘wipe downable’ just in case!

2. Pop a pill

Pills that contain Dramamine, Bonine and Benadryl will work by giving you a warm fuzzy feeling which collates to (in my most medical of terms) your inner ear being not being to be able to communicate to your brain that wave surfing is not cool. Make sure you read the label and take them in advance. These pills need a while to build up in the system.

3. Head to the onboard bar

Unfortunately, I am not going to recommend to a hefty few to numb the pain, but for a nice and simple Coca-Cola. Coke contains phosphoric acid and sugars which are the same ingredients as Emetrol an anti-nausea drug.

4. Ride the high seas

If you have a good raincoat (ladies I recommend Seasalt for your mac needs) then take the top deck and focus on the horizon. Your brain will hopefully stop being confused, your tummy will stop doing somersaults and you may be lucky to spot a dolphin or two.

5. Acupressure for dummies

Ok, this Chinese medicine tactic has been around for centuries so must be worth a try! On the inside of your wrist, there is a spot called P6. I’m not going to draw a diagram so ‘Google’ it. Apply some pressure to this sweet spot and it may stop nausea.

6. If all else fails just let it go

Better out than in I say. Avoid the toilets. I have seen people trap fingers in  doors in their desperation to get to the porcelain. Not only that it’s not considerate to the non-pukers that want to just erhm..powder their nose. Don’t be embarrassed you are not the first and certainly won’t be the last. Use the designated sick bags on board or just do it overboard (downwind please).

So there you are…. all set? See you on the other side sailor…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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